Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Ah the snow...

I feel like the women from the scene of "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" when they are singing and looking out the window while it is snowing. It has not stopped snowing outside all day. But not just normal snow, like so much snow that I can barely see across the street. Or so much snow that I can hear the snow plow, but cant see it. I think some people call this a "white out." But dont think I am complaining at all, because it is actually good. Besides the fact that I havent left my house all day, I showered then bundled up and have been writing in my book all day! So even though it is crappy outside, I am totally okay with it!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Is NoCouponNoPizza the next hit sensation?

I have come across a new band that I think my be on its way in, and by in, I mean on their way to the big time. Their new freshman hit album "Mosquito Alarm" covers all sorts of emotions/genres/fancies/interests/etc. They made their first debut on Myspace.com, the up and coming social internet core. I having had the privilege to meet both the members of NoCouponNoPizza, Russell Pohlman and Calvin Smooth aka Calvin Kenley, I convinced Russell to get me an album before it hit stores. Now he has asked me to write a review of this new sensation we like to call NoCouponNoPizza.


Mosquito Alarm: ( I HATE alarms, but not this one!)
Warp Zone - This track is not of them singing at all, but a small compilation of old school Nintendo songs. Being a HUGE fan of Mario and his Nintendo buddies, this song takes me back to my years at college in Kampus Korner, where we would play Nintendo just about everyday. Good song.

There - Calvin lead sings this song. I really enjoy the music for this next track. A happy-lift-you-up sort of beat. I will be completely honest I have no idea what this song is about, but the song is nice. The lyrics state something about "wash the sheets, cut your hair;" So ya....really not sure.

Joy Without Pleasure - Again Smooth takes the lead. You are right Calvin, Joy without pleasure is not any fun at all. I like this song, its very entertaining.


Van Helsing Boom Box - Russell takes the lead for this song. It starts off with a sort of Halloweeny-spooky groove. The only thing I can pull out of this song is that the person has finally taken a look at their life and realized they are not where they wanted to be; with a woman that gives them no happiness and a life that gives them no joy and what they thought of their life as so good is now nothing at all......and then they realize they are the only one that can change it, but they cant do anything about it. Too deep of an insight? Oh well. The ending music is a little creepy, not gonna lie.

Where Were You - My Favorite song on the whole track. Dead Serious! The music and the melody are great!I routinely listen to it on repeat.......thats the truth. Its actually a little depressing, but I really like it. It is a person who is mourning some sort of loss of a friend or loved one, wondering where they were when they needed them most. And they could have possibly fought with this person and now they are stronger because of it. I feel like I am looking way to much into these songs, I am gonna be pissed if it is a song about Mountain Dew or something. :)

The King - Wow, I dont even feel like talking about this one, you just need to experience it for yourself. But, since I promised.......Ever heard of Elvis? Maybe, maybe not, but what Calvin and Russ have done is, they have taken Elvis's demise and put it into rap form. Yes, you heard it folks. Quite entertaining. Very medically correct though, I applaud you both for not only your musical skills, but for your genius in making a rap out of medical terminology. Russ's breakdown midway through is probably the best part of the song.......You guys are crazy!


Buttylicious -Basically, this is Calvin rapping about his butt. Yep, thats it folks. Featuring Russ as an old school gangsta. There you go.

Exhibit A......

Femme Fatale - This is obviously a song about a girl that has broken these boys hearts. Its starts out heartwarming and sweet, but then the lyrics start about a girl who teases, torments, and lies. They cant help but be in love with her even though she has millions of boyfriends aka hoochie. Future reference boys, stay away from these girls. Unless of course you are doing research for a new song.

Bang Your Tamborine - This is the song that Calvin and Russ announce who they are as NoCouponNoPizza. They say things like "We are the mighty kings of Rock and Roll," "We are your wildest dreams" Dream on boys, but entertaining song. This is your disco-crazy-dance song. Kermit the frog is even featured in this song. Go on, Bang your Tamborine!!


Vampire in Tight Pants - When Russ first told me about this song, I was overjoyed! I love Vampires and if they are wearing tight pants, thats pretty close to being in heaven, but as I listen to the song I realize what this song is really about......I think, and this is purely speculation, but it is about girls who are always out there.....and you know what I mean by out there. Girls who are ready to suck your blood/life out of you, not real vampires. If this is what it is about....then they paint a very good picture of these so called girls. The song starts off with a sort of dark, sexy appeal to it and continues on with Calvin in a falsetto sort of high pitched voice. Again very entertaining.

Happy Birthday Howard - This song illustrates birthdays as we get older and how they aren't really that much fun anymore. Very true, I miss musical chairs.....

Florida - Keith, Calvin's brother, is featured in this song through a voicemail. Apparently he went to jail for an unpaid parking ticket.......sounds a bit like a girl I know....Whitney, are you reading this? Anyway, this song reminds me of old school rap.


Well there it is, my review of NCNP's album Mosquito Alarm. Now I knew Calvin Smooth has had a career in throwing down the biz with his raps, but his lyrical rhymes mixed with rookie Russell's creative talents and musical insight, this dynamic duo present ultimate amusement. I have only been graced with Russell's operas about bagels and cream cheese, so it was nice to hear a different side of his musical capabilities. The album stays true to its name, Mosquito Alarm will wake you up and keep you going all day long. NoCouponNoPizza stay true to their name as well, They dont present satisfaction unless you meet them half way by listening, Or whatever, I couldn't think of anything clever to say.

As it says on the back cover "12 tracks of pure bliss..." Well, I wouldn't say bliss, but pure entertainment? Yes I would say 12 tracks of pure entertainment.

Footnote:

Russ and Calvin are my good friends back in Logan. Please Support them and go check out their site on Myspace, they are great guys even though they look homeless in this picture!
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=418847967

PS There Roossell....you owe me now!