Sunday, March 21, 2010

Sabotage....

Alright, no more depressing, life-evaluating, angst ridden posts for awhile. Back to the normal Hannah blog, albeit normal doesnt really describe my blog. :) Anyway, here goes.....

It has come to my attention that the Sleeping version of myself is trying to sabotage the Working/Responsible version of myself. Now I know you are probably thinking, "Man, she is crazy!" And you may be right, but let me tell you what has been happening the last little bit....
So, of course here is the back story. I am a sleeper. There is no denying it. Ask many of my family and friends. Sure, I can stay up till all hours of the night, but once I am asleep, I can sleep for hours and hours. A short nap for me lasts about 2 hours. Since I have been plagued with such a curse, I have had to set many alarms just to ensure that I can get up in the morning. And even sometimes that fails. There have been more than a few occasions that I have slept through at least 6 alarms.......dont judge me. I like my sleep.
With my new phone, I have about 3 - 4 alarms set. Those are just the preliminary alarms to get me out of REM. The last alarm comes from a recently purchased table side alarm clock that unfortunately is not as loud as I would like, but it does the job okay. This clock runs about 10 minutes ahead of normal time.......I told you, you may be right when you thought I was crazy. Or maybe it OCD, whatever, still, I hate this clock nonetheless. Not only does it's piercing blue LED lights burn my retinas while I try to sleep, but the Snooze button is awfully close to the Hour button.
One night I set all my alarms in preparation for the next morning. I had to be to work at 7:45am so I set my clocks accordingly, 10-15 minutes apart starting at 5:45am in hopes that I would be up by about 6:15am with enough time to be ready and out the door at 7:05-7:10am - Yes this is how I plan my mornings.
Well, the next thing I remember as I woke up with a start and stared at the table side clock which said 8:27am. Panic shot through me as I jumped out of bed. I checked my phone, if it was that late surely my work had tried to call me and I was sure that I hadnt slept through that! No phone call, thats weird, but in my haste, I didnt really look at the time on my phone. I got up and started changing into my work clothes. As I passed the window I noticed that it was still dark outside and that is what tipped me off. I went back to check the alarm clock, it said 8:31am, I checked my phone, this time paying attention to the time, 6:31am. I sat down and finally figured it out. Instead of hitting the snooze, I had been hitting the hour button, hence disrupting the snooze cycle and making me sleep later.
It has now happened another 2 times, each morning making me panic, though I make sure to check my phone before completely freaking out. Now thats not all. Sleeping Hannah really has it out for me. Last Wednesday night, a friend called me. Well I wasnt able to return her phone call till the next night. As I went to find her last missed call I noticed that her name was listed twice, once with the "missed call" symbol and above it was listed a "call out" symbol. I tried to think of when I had called her, I was almost sure I hadnt. I pulled up the recent call history. 5:55am was when the phone call was made and it lasted for about 6 minutes. WTH?!?! When and why did I do that?! So I called my friend and asked her if she received a crazy sleep induced phone call. She laughed and said I had left a message, though you couldnt hear anything on it. Thank goodness she didnt hear me snoring. But come on! So I figured that maybe I was trying to turn off one of my alarms and somehow called her instead. But no, none of my alarms were set until about 8am........Sleeping Hannah is out to get me!
Bringing this full circle to get to why I am so paranoid about this, besides the obvious reasons of sleeping through my alarms and calling random people and leaving 6 minute blank messages that seem borderline stalkerish, I had a dream last night that I had to call 911. These 2 punk kids were holding up a Hobby Lobby with samurai swords and holding us all hostages. I snuck away and made a hushed phone call to 911 but I couldnt remember the place we were at for the life of me, I kept trying to tell them Kohls, but I knew that wasnt right. And the mysterious 911 operator said about 5 times, "Well, we know where you are located at because of GPS but we need to know what store you are in." DUH! Dreams are so flippin weird. Anyway, I am off subject, somewhere in the back of my head Conscious Hannah was saying, "PLEASE, PLEASE DONT REALLY BE ON THE PHONE!!" So I woke myself up, relieved to see that my phone was not in my hand, but still......this Sleeping Hannah is tricky, so I snatched my phone off the bedside table and scrolled through the recent calls and to my immense and utter relief there was no outbound call to 911...... Can you imagine if we had the SWAT team show up to my parents house saying, "We received a tip that 2 punk kids are holding hostages with samurai swords." I can only imagine that Sleeping Hannah would think that was extremely funny.....as would normal Hannah.
Moral of the story, you shouldn't shop at Hobby Lobby. :) Just kidding, but seriously, if you get a random phone call in the night from me and I dont say anything, just know that I really am not trying to be creepy.