I am most likely going to regret posting this in the morning, but I think the massive amounts of cough and cold medicine raging through my system are impairing my judgement and I have something to say, even if it doesn't make sense. It starts with a question, what the hell is wrong with people? I mean, really. People suck. And yes, I am generalizing, well except for when it comes to teenagers, all teenagers are horrible, (sorry Kams - my 16 year old niece, I'll love you again in a few years ) But I digress and I am not even a paragraph in... My real rhetorical question is, why is it that the large majority of us turn to anger, fear, and judgement before love, acceptance, and understanding? (She asks angrily).
Especially the last few weeks, shockingly enough, seeing as how this was supposed to be the season of love and giving, I have seen more hateful, angry, or just plain mean comments on facebook, twitter, the news, or just heard in everyday conversations with my family, friends, coworkers, or random people. I have tried to justify it away as people having bad days, or people not being informed, or people being under stress, but tonight, it got to me.
I forced myself to go to the store this evening because I wanted a treat, (I'm sick, I'm indulging myself) where I listened to a couple argue in the parking lot about whether or not their daughter, who looked to be about 3 or 4 years old, washed her hands before she ate dinner this evening. (Does it really matter?? She probably ate dirt for lunch.) I also watched another young kid probably like 9 or 10 complain to his mom that he didn't get enough for Christmas, so she just HAD to buy him some video game. She forcefully grabbed his arm and yelled at him to "knock it off in public."
But here's the real reason for my lamentation, as I was waiting in the self check out line, because I am sick and I would rather avoid dealing with people, soon as a stand became available, I made my way to it, only to have a young guy, about my age walk right in front of me and start scanning his items. Now, I may look homeless with my jeans tucked into my ugly snow boots, a hoodie and my hair on top of my head, but that doesnt make this guy any more entitled to that check stand before me.
Normally, I wouldn't let it bother me, I would rather just let it go than say something, because realistically I would have waited maybe another 30 seconds and another stand would be open, but my patience wears thin when I am sick, and it was about the principle that he butted-in front of not only me, but 3 other people in line.
Without hiding any annoyance, I said, "Excuse me? I was just about to use that." This guy's first reaction was to just ignore me. That didn't sit well at all and fueled the fire. So I walked up to him and I said, "You completely just stole that from me. Did you not see me walking towards it? Not to mention, the line back there?" I sounded like a tough smoker because my voice is scratchy, but it had no affect on him, he just shrugged and said, "There's another one open over there." and pointed to a vacant one, which no one in line had made their way to because they were either enjoying the spectacle of me confronting the jerk, or they were worried I would turn on them if they made an attempt. At this point I realized the futility of trying to reason or get an apology from this guy, so I resorted to what's easiest... Insults. "Have a nice time being an ass." Thinking back on it, I should have coughed on him.
Anyway, I went to the open stand, checked out my items, and glared at the guy as he left. The whole time I was thinking, where has the Christmas spirit gone we all had not 2 days ago?? Why do people have to be so mean? Why can't we all just be a little more patient with each other? Why can't we be more like dogs? Yes, that is a real question that goes through my head sometimes.
But Hannah, you can't always compare everything in life to dogs, you might be saying to yourself. My first response is, why not? My second response is, try and stop me. My third response is, get over yourself, dogs are cool. So I will continue, take dogs for example, I have never met a species more capable of unconditional love.
I house sit for everyone and their dog, literally. Most of my calendar consists of housesitting jobs where I watch someone else's house and animals, usually dogs, while they are away. Now I find it interesting that each and every dog treats me the same in their home. Here I am, a stranger in this dog's home, their owner isn't around to set the standard on how to treat me, they have to assess that much for themselves and judge me completely on their own. So here I am, a stranger in their home or "pack" or however you want to look at it and yet dogs look past that I am overweight, they look past the fact that I say some obnoxious things, they look past me laughing at my own jokes, they don't care that I am female, white, or a Latter Day Saint. All they care about is that I am a decent person (or I like to think so) and I treat them well. Well, and that I give them food. Dogs love food. Yeah, I am different from what they are used to, I say some weird things, I'm not the "norm", but they love me anyway and still act incredibly happy to see me and treat me nicely, even if I am different.
I know that dogs aren't perfect, but I would like to think they are a lot closer than we are. So as I sit here cuddled next to a large hairy malamute on a Friday night and question why people suck so badly, I am brought back to the man in the check out line, yeah it was a jackass thing for him to do, but I was just as bad for being mean to him. I just want to live in a world where we can all love and accept each other even if we think, feel, or love differently than us. Sorry for the half hearted wrap up, but I feel as though I am rambling now and I'm getting emotional so I am going to end this now and go to sleep.